so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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