How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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