if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
