a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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