My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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