That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
