I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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