she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
