Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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