Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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