woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Of course I have a pirate flag
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
