I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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