So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
