Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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