Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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