Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
