I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
