I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
