Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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