help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
