I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
