Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
