My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
