she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
