Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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