too bad you live with your parents still
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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