you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
