She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
