how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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