the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
should my penis look like a turkey
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
