So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
