so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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