Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
