he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
