just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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