Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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