You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
