apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
