besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
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Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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