So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
