im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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