Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
