Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
