Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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