Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
