I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
