pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You smell like stripper and shame
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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