Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
