So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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