Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So here I am, sexting at work.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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