she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
