I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
