Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The air taste purple.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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