pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
