I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
