I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
