Do vagina's smell?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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