do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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