both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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