so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
