I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
