I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
