i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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