Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
