When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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