I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Duck Duck Cougar?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
