I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
