They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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