I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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