we have pet lesbian snakes
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
