So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
