It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
