Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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